street evangelism!

spent my afternoon outside plaza sing participating in street evangelism. for the uninformed/ non-believer, it's simply spreading the gospel on the streets. so basically, i was in "converting christian" mode.

out of the 2 hours we were there, we spent half the time looking for people to approach, half the time buying food and eating (specifically terry) and the rest of the time trying to talk to them.

out of the few people our group talked to (there was hardly enough time), among others, was a group of ny sec 1s. they were there because they were doing a survey for a project (i clearly remember doing no such thing in sec 1), and funny enough, they were the easiest to talk to. i think the fact that the 2 older girls in our group (from glowing) were talking helped. or maybe it's just because they're sec 1. or maybe it's because they're from ny. i don't know. in exchange for listening to them, we did their survey, which was something like "what class flight do you take: economy/business/first". i didn't do it though.

later the 2 girls told terry and i "hey you guys should also approach people,", conveniently forgetting the fact that it was the first time for both terry and myself. that's not an excuse, but perhaps it would've been better if we split into 1 guy, 1 girl? at least people wouldn't be intimidated/put off by 2 guys trying to convert them.

this is what happened when we went up to 1 guy.

terry: "uh hello, we are from qbc. i'm terry, and..."
guy: "it's alright."
terry + me: "..."

can't blame us for not trying.

still, it was quite a good learning experience. although honestly, i don't know what i'm supposed to learn, or what i have learnt.



in any case, Jesus still loves me. with all his heart. =)

alright. some post-blocks nonsense!

I'll Make a Nerd Out of You

Let's get down to business
To study for blocks
Did they send me slackers
when I asked for nerds?
You're the slackest bunch
I ever met
But you can bet
before we're through
Mister, I'll make a nerd
out of you

Tranquil as a slacker
but on fire within
Once you find your textbooks
you are sure to win
You're the slackest, pale
non-mugger lot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make a nerd
Out of you

I'm never gonna get to slack
Say good-bye to fellow slackers
Boy, was I a fool in school
for ponning lects!
This guy's got 'em
scared to death
Hope he doesn't see
right through me
Now I really wish that I
knew how to mug

(Be a nerd)
We must be swift as
a supercomputer
(Be a nerd)
Mug all your notes
like a great typhoon
(Be a nerd)
Use all your brain cells
to memorise notes
And most importantly,
no more games for you!

Time is racing toward us
till your As arrive
Do your every tutorial
and you might survive
You're unsuited for
the rage of blocks
So pack up, go home
you're through
How could I make a nerd
out of you?

(Be a nerd)
We must be swift as
a supercomputer
(Be a nerd)
Mug all your notes
like a great typhoon
(Be a nerd)
Use all your brain cells
to memorise notes
And most importantly,
no more games for you!

(Be a nerd)
We must be swift as
a supercomputer
(Be a nerd)
Mug all your notes
like a great typhoon
(Be a nerd)
Use all your brain cells
to memorise notes
And most importantly,
no more games for you!

i saw this poster hanging from the ceiling of the Cheers store opposite my flat which said this.

"100 tickets must be won to watch jolin 'live' in concert! Spend min. $5 to qualify."

Now, enlighten me if i am mistaken, but should the word "must" be replaced with "to"? After all, the chances of winning a whopping 100 tickets just to "watch jolin 'live in concert!" are not that high. I don't think the chances of winning even 1 ticket is high. So whoever can actually win the 100 tickets must be one lucky bugger.
Furthermore, assuming that you spend a minimum of $5 to qualify, what does it qualify you for? 1 ticket? 100 tickets? Either way it doesn't make sense. if it's $5 to stand a chance to win 1 ticket, it doesn't take a nuclear physicist to calculate that one must spend at least $500 just to have the chance to win 100 tickets. And that's assuming for every $5, you do win 1 ticket. Even a ticket for "Phantom of the Opera" isn't worth $500. Or World Cup tickets. But maybe PotO and WC are all passe. Move aside Phantom, Jolin in the house!

The other alternative would be even more implausible. If you spend $5 to qualify for 100 tickets, Cheers would be haemorrhaging money. Assuming, this time, that each ticket costs $40 (which is about the average price, unless i am sorely mistaken), Cheers would lose $4000-$5= $3995! Which self-respecting convenience store trying to compete with the likes of 7-11 would be so bloody stupid to risk $3995 just to try to boost their sales a little?

Of course, these arguments are all based on the assumption that the word "must" should be replaced with "to". But something's not right. Firstly, Cheers's own website states clearly that "Cheers, a wholly owned subsidiary of NTUC Fairprice Co-operative Ltd", which Wikipedia states "is a co-operative of the National Trade Union Congress", which Wikipedia also states "Relations between PAP and NTUC are very close", which Wikipedia also states that PAP "has been the ruling political party in Singapore since 1959 and thus enjoys a significant role in the formation of the government of Singapore". So, unless i'm making a wrong logic jump, Cheers is owned by the government?

At the expense of sounding like a patriot, but mistakes and the Singapore government do not go together. My history textbook tells me that it was the government who solved the problem of housing in the 1960s, after the war. It was also the government which introduced technical education to prepare less well-educated students enter the workforce more easily. It does not follow, then, that if the government is capable of formulating such important policies, surely it cannot make a simple language mistake? If any staff from Cheers, NTUC, or the government came across my humble abode, (which have pretty high chances at 1/3,000,000, assuming everyone in Singapore has a blog, and i'm not counting blogs of staff from the aforementioned 3 bodies. If you don't, you are outdated, because even our ministers have blogs now!) please do not take my questions personally. I am not trying to offend anyone, but merely to express my humble opinion.

No, something is not right here. Either the government made a mistake when designing that poster (specifically Cheers staff), or one really has to win 100 tickets just to watch Jolin 'live' in concert. I can only eliminate the first option and deduce that yes, one must win 100 tickets just to watch Jolin 'live' in concert.

joke of the day.

which halogen is my brother?















chlorine.

because mak chlorine = maclaurin.





ha.

when they said that JTS would be pushed to after block tests from this Thursday, i thought that for once, common sense finally prevailed.

alas, it wasn't to be. turns out that this is the case because some juniors can't make it.

in any case, i shouldn't be complaining. i got what i wanted. which apparently no one else wants. not that i care. =)





also, it occurred to me that it probably wasn't wise to be telling people all about my exploits in the washroom.

what the crap.

Disclaimer: Due to the graphic content of this post, viewer discretion is strongly advised.


If you ever have the chance to go to Paradiz Centre, make sure you have emptied all your bowels/bladders, and have nothing coming for at least the next 24 hours. Make that 48. I am not kidding.

It’s experiences like the one I had yesterday that makes me appreciate splendid toilets at hotels/shopping malls/ home, and wonder why in such a kiasu country like Singapore, why more isn’t being done to improve the standards of toilets. Sure, this may be one of those rare few toilets in Singapore which hasn’t undergone a radical facelift, but if anyone from the government/ Paradiz Centre’s management reading this entry, please, please, please, for the love of humanity, DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR TOILETS. (basement one, to be specific).

So yesterday, I was playing pool with some of my classmates after going for the Open House of 2 universities, and we wanted to kill some time from 5pm to 5.45pm, because we were meeting other classmates later to have dinner. I was already having a slight stomachache, presumably from eating the half-cooked chicken wings I myself cooked at the class barbeque the previous night (I’m giving my classmates who cooked the benefit of the doubt and just assume I was the only lousy cook who couldn’t get the wings to be fully cooked. But they were still rather tasty). Anyway, if I had known before yesterday the state of toilets in Paradiz Centre, I would have gladly told my bowels something along the lines of “You’re not getting out of here for the next 2 hours. Now stop giving my stomach a hard time, or I’ll plug your exit permanently,”

I should have known that the state of the shopping centre would give me a clue or two about the state of the toilet. My toilet sense was already tingling when I saw that the shopping centre was dimly lit, and the only people who were there at that time were either foreign workers or punks. But no, I chose to believe in the best of the shopping mall, and hence, the toilet as well.

The first time the pain really shot through my whole body was when we were playing our first game of pool. Being unable to stand the pain any longer without crapping in my pants, I tried as nicely as possible to ask the pool shop owner where the nearest toilet was. Through gritted teeth I said, “auntie, where is the nearest toilet?” and she just nonchalantly replied, “go out turn right,”. So I thought to myself “Hallelujah! At least the toilet’s not far,” so out I turned. 4 times. I bet they constructed the path to the toilet like that for people like me to wish they’d cleared their bowels at home every morning. Just when you think you’ve reached the corner of the toilet, you round the corner and see…another 10 metres of straight path to the next corner. Now, I’m not saying 10m is long, but after 3 turns you start to wonder if you’re in a maze, and whether going back out the way you came from would be a faster way to find the toilet.

Finally, when I reached the toilet after 2 hours, I rushed into the nearest cubicle. Immediately I saw a whole family, probably with their extended family, of flies. Now I’m going to call them “dungflies” here, because what other name can you give to a fly that hides in toilet cubicles, waiting for people’s…waste products? So, on the verge of screaming a profanity, I bit my tongue and went to the next cubicle. And the next one. And the next one. I ended up using none. Because it turns out that the dungflies are either all spending their march school holidays camping in a cubicle (1 cubicle per family plus extended family) waiting for some poor chap to provide them with a feast, or just to hibernate there. BECAUSE THERE ARE BLOODY DUNGFLIES IN EVERY DAMN CUBICLE. And it’s not just 1 or 2, it’s around 10 each. Tell me, would you feel safe exposing any body parts in the presence of around 10 dungflies? I guessed not.

That wasn’t the only problem. None of the cubicles had any toilet paper in it. Can you imagine? What the tourists would think? If they stumbled upon Paradiz centre and had the same predicament as me? They’d probably be like “what the *#@$ ?! And I thought Singapore would have world-class toilets! They have world-class this and world-class that, but they don’t even have a decent cubicle here? What the @#$% is wrong with this place?” thankfully, I’m not a tourist. But just imagine.

As I came out of the toilet, I could hear my insides screaming already. “Get this stupid crap out of me!” and I had to be like “I’m trying to, okay? But there’s no damn paper! How am I going to explain this to Mr. Pie Hole?” then I saw this toilet paper dispensing machine. Yes, that’s right, a toilet paper dispensing machine. It said “insert 10c here” at one end. Those mercenary bastards. I had to run back down the Road Less Travelled to retrieve my wallet, avoid the curious glances of my classmates and beat a hasty exit once more. As I inserted a 10c coin in the machine, I had never felt so humiliated before (at least that day). It was almost as if, when the machine was dispensing the toilet paper, it was saying “you big LOOSSEEERRRRRR. You don’t even bring toilet paper when you go out,” This was, without a shadow of doubt, my biggest waste of money this year. And, I could have sworn I heard some evil auntie hiding in a corner sniggling somewhere and saying, “hah! Another moron falling into our devilishly scheming plan to increase our income by 10 cents. And therefore our standard of living.” I could have sworn, if I had anything sharp at all, I would have torn the toilet paper dispensing machine to shreds. Not the paper, but the machine. Also, I will from now on, never again leave home without taking out at least 1 packet of tissue paper wherever I go.

I then had to choose which cubicle had the least number of flies. Or at least, the greatest proportion hibernating. In the end, I chose the first one, because I reckoned that perhaps they’re like humans on the MRT. They always choose the ones in the middle, leaving the cubicles at both ends relatively empty. So I opened the door and walked in as softly as possible, hoping not to wake them up from their deep slumber.

I’d prefer not to talk about the minute details of what went on next, but suffice to say that it was traumatizing. For starters, imagine, that the toilet bowl is so dirty, you cannot, absolutely cannot, sit on it without risking getting STDs on your pie hole. So there I was, balancing myself on my feet, trying not to get one leg stuck inside the toilet bowl, and getting Mr. Crappy to get out of me. Then suddenly this dungfly flew in through the space below the door, looked at me as if I was goodness knows what, before flying out again. I could have sworn it was telling me telepathically, “peek-a-boo! I see you!” not exactly something you’d need if you were trying hard to get certain things flushed out of your system would it? if, thousands or millions of years later, it evolved to have a neck, i'd come out of my grave just to wrap my hands around it and squeeze.

I also was having a hard time trying to cover as much of myself as possible in case of the flies waking up from their hibernation. Can you imagine? This fly who’s asleep suddenly wakes up to the smell of crap and says, “Blimey! Honey, wake up! We’ve hit the jackpot! Some idiot’s come in to give us our meal for the year! Hurrah!” desperately trying to avoid this situation, I was trying to cover myself as much as possible in case they decided my gluteus maximus was a buffet table.

And as I was holding my “thinking man’s position” there, I thought to myself, “why am I suffering a third-world condition in a supposedly first-world country?” and I found no answer to that. Perhaps one day when I’m lying in a hammock at home when I’m eighty I will. But not today. It certainly did not help matters that by this time, my bowels were trying to play “hide-and-seek” with me by not coming out. Try as I might, I just couldn’t find them. I think some of the buggers are still inside me now, as I’m typing this. I’ll deal with them later.

Finally, after 10 minutes (surely a world record) locked up in that cubicle, I could stand it no more, and after cleaning myself with that measly few pieces of paper, I dashed out (but not before flushing the toilet thoroughly), washed my hands, and ran towards freedom. Surely, surely, I wasn’t going back to hell now.

A few lessons have I learnt from this episode. They are:

1) never, ever, ever, ever, go to the toilet in paradiz centre. Unless they hire pest extermination to clean that defiled place. And I have at least 10 rolls of toilet paper with me.
2) Never ever attempt to try cooking at a barbeque. I know I’m supposed to be good at outdoor cooking, having passed that test in scouts, but let’s keep that a secret okay?
3) Never ever go to paradiz center, especially after eating funky food that day or the day before.
4) Someone should really, really do something about the toilet in paradiz centre.

ok... made a new discovery today, which was, suffice to say, shocking. but in a funny way.


anyway, first heard this song during dramafeste. recently joseph told me what song it was, and, thanks to Youtube (again!), i can share this nice song! :)

oh in case you don't know, youtube's site is www.youtube.com



Lifehouse - You and Me


What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

I can't keep up
and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me
and all other people
with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me
and all other people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me
and all other people
with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me
and all other people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me
and all other people
with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me
and all other people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off

of you and me
and all other people
with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me
and all other people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive




ok the mv is a bit mushy and lovey-dovey and whatnot, but it's the closest thing i could find to an actual mv.

mrs ang said something today which made lots of sense.

if you don't do well for your studies, you're insulting your intelligence.

what did you feel when someone you held dear to your heart didn't regard you with the same importance?


angry? upset? sad? or disappointed?




thank God Jesus isn't like that. =)

it's been quite a week.

went with joseph and velden to get our sch accts unlocked. when we told the techie our userids, he scrolled to them on the name list, and there, beside my name, the offence was written as:

"play com" o.O

hope they don't put that on my testimonial. =P

today our seniors got their results! thanks to them, we have a full day holiday on monday. i don't dislike having a holiday, but i'd much rather it come later (like after block test) or earlier (like early feb, cny time. eh wait, it's still cny now).

nowadays, i don't know why.

maybe it's my new chair.
maybe it's junior class.
maybe football manager's losing its appeal.
maybe com games are losing their appeal.
maybe it's what jk said about what i do at home.
maybe it's what zhuo said.

whatever it is, i like what's happening to me. thank you Jesus.





heard this song playing on tv and quite liked it.



Take That - Patience

Just have a little patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
That any minute all the pain will stop
Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don't be to hard on my emotions

Cause I need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing just try and have a little patience

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend
I'll try to be strong believe me
I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understanding

Cause I need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing just try and have little patience yeah
Have a little patience yeah

Cause the scars run so deep it's been hard but I have to believe
Have a little patience
Have a little patience

Whooo cause I
I just need time
My heart is numb has no feeling so while I'm still healing
Jjust try and have a little patience
Have a little patience

My heart is numb has no feeling so while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little patience