it's about halfway through bmt!

but before i go back in for another week of confinement because of field camp, allow me to reuse my brain for the first time in weeks to prevent it from degeneration due to inactivity.

i seek your forgiveness if what i say seems to be painfully obvious, because once you're enlisted, "you see no day, you see no night, all you see is training", as my csm put it so aptly. so for me to say anything that makes sense should be regarded as quite an accomplishment already.

it has finally dawned on me what draws me (i don't presume to speak for others) to bookout days so much. apart from the obvious fact that we don't have to be ordered around, and even more important than having time to actually rest physically properly, is our chance to come back and meet real people.

human relationships. 2 simple words that mean so much to me right now. this cny break has allowed me to realise that above all that i cherish during my bookout times, it's the human interactions that i miss the most. now, don't get me wrong, we do interact with our platoon mates inside, as well as our superiors (though in this case it's 1-way communication), but seeing "civilians" (in our dictionary) is something entirely different. for one, you can talk about stuff besides training for once.

having said that, i do regret a little for not being able to spend more time with my friends (because for one reason or another a lot of people weren't free), though i am very thankful for having a great family, and for them to be there almost all the time, so that i wouldn't suffer more isolation. i could and should have spent less time in front of the com, and as each day passed i realised more and more that there's only so much gaming time you can have and not feel empty. surely there's more to life than just kotor/PES2008! maybe this is also why i sometimes wish i were attached, to have that "special someone" to spend time with. (ah the delusions of hopeless romantics) but i seriously believe that divine intervention is preventing me from having any sort of bgr because of the probably high chances of failure. still, sometimes one can't help but feel....... well, you know what i mean.


i do apologise for my lack of coherence in this post (how many times have i done this before?), but with another 12 days on tekong coming up, i'm starting to miss the people i've taken for granted these past few days again. and i don't want that to happen again.






you take my hand
and lead me to your side
your warm embrace
sets my heart on fire

you are my shelter
the God of all wonders
you are the hero of my life

i live for you
the saviour of my life
your love for me
is wider than the skies

you are my shelter
the God of all wonders
you are the hero of my life

you came for me
your life for mine
when i couldn't save myself

you bore my pain
my sin, my shame
jesus my lord my life






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